The practice of Divorce Mediation has been around for about 50 years now. At first, bar associations denounced the practice, but by 2000 the American Bar Association embraced the concept and created what’s known as the Model Standards of Practice For Family and Divorce Mediation. Divorce Mediation offers a cost-effective, more timely and amiable alternative to Divorce Litigation for many couples looking to divorce. Still, many couples who can benefit greatly from Divorce Mediation choose to litigate their divorce. In some cases, litigation is necessary, but some couples don’t fully understand the process of Divorce Mediation. Here are 4 myths about Divorce Mediation that deserve clearing up:

In Divorce Mediation, Agreements Are Non-Binding

Couples may get the feeling that since Divorce Mediation does not take place in the courtroom, agreements made are not binding. This simply isn’t true. Yes, the process of Divorce Mediation is much less stringent than Divorce Litigation in that it allows a couple to make their own decisions regarding matters of their divorce, but that does not mean their decisions will not be made binding. After your Divorce Mediator at Nassau County Divorce Mediation Service drafts your divorce settlement agreement, it’s recommended that you bring your draft to your own independent counsel – preferably an experienced divorce lawyer. They can review your drafted divorce settlement agreement to ensure it meets your best interests. If it seems as if your independent counsel is simply looking for you to retain them (so they can litigate your divorce), dismantling the progress you’ve made through mediation, it’s best you seek out a second opinion.

After you and your spouse are fully content with your divorce settlement agreement, your Nassau County Divorce Mediator will then file it with the court. Once it is filed with the court, your agreements are made binding.

One advantage of Divorce Mediation is that it aims to make the divorce process as amicable as possible. Whereas Divorce Litigation pits two partners against one another, Divorce Mediation aims to facilitate cooperation. This may help divorcees stay reasonable and civil with one another post-divorce, which can be extremely beneficial for any children involved. Even though your parenting agreement is binding, circumstances may arise in the future that call for change. For example, your holiday schedule may change around one year. Your family may be throwing an impromptu party for the holidays on a day when your ex-spouse has custody of your child. You and your ex-spouse may agree that it’s in your child’s best interest to attend your family’s party. If the two of you can be civil about the decision, you can agree to a temporary break from you parenting plan to make your child happy. The cooperative dynamic of a successful Divorce Mediation may help you and your ex-spouse be civil and therefore, more open to circumstantial changes in your parenting plan, for example.

When Agreements Cannot Be Made, Your Mediator Makes Decisions For You

Some couples may believe that if they cannot resolve a dispute, their mediator will decide what’s best. This is far from true. A Divorce Mediator cannot make any decisions on your behalf. They can, however, come up with alternative solutions for you and your ex-spouse. Divorce Mediators are not permitted to give legal advice. They are, however, permitted to inform you and your partner on the logistics of the divorce process.

Should you and your spouse find it impossible to agree on certain matters of your divorce, your Divorce Mediator will likely find it necessary to terminate the process. Your Nassau County Divorce Mediator will likely recommend that both you and your partner seek independent legal counsel and resolve your divorce through litigation.

Only Simple Divorces Can Be Successfully Mediated

Divorce cases that involve domestic abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, the hiding of marital assets, etc., should be handled through litigation. When there’s a power dynamic involved in a relationship, it’s likely that mediation won’t be successful. If one spouse is abusive or abusing drugs, it’s likely that they won’t be rational enough to go through the mediation process. Additionally, if there are children involved in a scenario like this, a judge should decide which parent is more fit to obtain custody. If you suspect your spouse of hiding marital assets (ie., reporting a lower income than they actually make or not reporting financial assets in order to pay less in child support, alimony, etc.), you should put your divorce through litigation. Litigation offers a discovery phase in which you can unveil any marital assets your spouse may be hiding. These types of divorce cases should be handled through litigation.

Other than cases involving extreme issues such as the ones stated above, most cases, even if they are extremely complex, can be handled through mediation. Even high-net-worth couples can resolve their marriage through Divorce Mediation. The Divorce Mediators at Nassau County Divorce Mediation are skilled with contriving solutions for complex cases – ones that are high-net-worth, involve matters of child custody, shared businesses, etc. These solutions are meant to be mutually beneficial for both partners. Additionally, we always recommend that before signing any divorce settlement agreements, both parties meet with individual third-party counsel (including accountants, appraisers, divorce lawyers, etc.) to make sure you your agreement is meeting your wants and demands.